Love still looks the same, but the way we find it is
changing.
When the world of love combined with technology, it started this love-hate
affair in our hearts and minds. On one hand, it's brilliant to be able to just
swipe through all your possible dates at your own leisure and convenience. On
the other, it has meant we have come up against new challenges when it comes to
finding love.
I will
admit, I am one of those traditional sort of girls who thinks finding love IRL
is a little more romantic. However, dating apps and online dating really do
have their perks. Let's face it, whether we like it or not, they are now a
major part of society and conversations. And if you haven't heard of Tinder,
then you are either happily married or living under a rock.
This
little dating app, which started as a small spark, is now a roaring flame and
one of the most talked about dating apps worldwide. Unfortunately, it's not for
all the right reasons. Tinder is notoriously known to be the app which is
perfect for hook ups, one night stands and the ultimate place to "swipe
left".
So, we
must stop and ask ourselves, is this simple little piece of science our
ultimate modern Fairy Godmother or not?
Love still looks the same, but the way we find it is
changing.
For a
while we bucked against new ways of finding a soul mate. We scoffed at blind
dating events, laughed at online daters and scowled at anyone using an app.
Society deemed it desperate and taboo to search for true love in anything other
than the 'normal' way.
However,
with the rise of divorce, reality dating TV shows and a demand for more online
dating, we realised that maybe these computer Cupids were onto something smart.
It is now socially acceptable to publicly declare you are single and looking
for love. Which is a small victory for the singletons, but it is also no longer
frowned upon to say you are wanting a hook up, which gives the players a hand
up. And this, my fellow people, is where the problems start. Put two people in
the same room with different intentions and there is bound to be some
heartache.
We think love is sex and sex is love and dating apps give
us both.
In the
beginning, online dating and dating apps were used mainly to find a long-term
relationship. This was probably why they were a little embarrassing to talk
openly about. The old "let's say we met at a bar" joke was featured
in almost every person's profile (ironically, since everyone was sick of
meeting someone at a bar). However, with the revolution of Tinder, we now talk
freely about who we have dated, slept with and swiped over merely because they
were not pleasing to the eye.
In
short, we have turned finding love into a hobby to either pass the time or
fulfill a hole or primal need of some sort. Dating apps have given us instant
access and connection to people without the depth and cost of online dating
sites. And while they offer us possible dates, they don't promise us love.
Ultimately people are searching for some sort of connection with someone else
-- the problem is that some people are expecting love while others just want a
fling. And when the two meet, there is bound to be a bit of a road bump,
because both have sought out the same portal for two totally different reasons.
You must remember the golden rule
The
golden rule is this: online dating sites and dating apps are a way to create
opportunities to meet people. They don't guarantee love. Heck, meeting a
stranger in the grocery store doesn't guarantee you a happily ever after.
While we
may have the tools to access someone instantly, it doesn't mean you will have
an instant relationship. That is something that is built over time. Love can be
found on Tinder and dating apps alike, but it doesn't mean the right person for
you is on there.
Ultimately,
you are in control of who you choose to date, fall in love with and start a
life with, and dating apps are just another way to create a chance to meet that
special someone.
So, should you risk your heart on Tinder?
Nothing
ventured nothing gained, just be aware of the reasons why there are stigmas
attached. In saying that, I have also heard of many success stories and believe
that a simple swipe right could lead to a great connection. Like any online
site or dating app, there are certain ways to guarantee better matches, so get
savvy, guard your heart and don't forget to have some fun along the way.
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